Disappointing News

So I learned the other day that I did not make it to the next step in the process; I was not asked to the Oral Assessment. I'm disappointed to say the least, especially as I made it that far last time. All I can think of is that my lack of focus came through in my Personal Narratives this time around. I clearly did not do as good of a job as I had on the first attempt. As I've mentioned before, my life is in something of an upheaval right now, both in good and bad ways, but stressful nonetheless. I'm not in the same place or frame of mind as I was when I started this blog and Foreign Service journey almost two years ago.

Which makes me wonder: Is this really the right time for me to be attempting something so life changing as the Foreign Service? As much as I want to do it, and I really do, maybe I need to get myself to a more stable place before I try again. Maybe I just need to mature and grow more as a professional, develop my skills, before I am ready. It's a lot to think about. I'm not eligible to take the test again until next summer, so I do have another 8 to 9 months to think about my next steps. A lot can happen in that short amount of time. I can't wait to see what will.

Jumping back into the fray

Last Saturday I took the FSOT for the second time. I have to say, this time I went into the test much more confident and relaxed. Even though I know I need to wait another 3 weeks or so before I find out how I did, I do feel confident that I will pass again. It's weird getting back into the foreign service game. Last year I focused so much energy and worry over the process that when I failed to pass the Oral Assessment I felt very deflated. I didn't know if I would have the energy to try again. However, after going through everything last year, I find that I have a better perspective on the process and don't find myself fretting over things needlessly. I'm glad I'm trying again. When it all comes down to it, if this is truly something I want to do, and it is, I owe it to myself to keep going. So with that, the waiting game begins again.

One Month

Well, in one month I am ready to kick off the whole Foreign Service Process again. That's right, on June 5th I will be taking the FSOT for the second time. I am approaching the test this time a lot calmer. I know what to expect and I know that I was able to pass it once. This does not mean I am taking passing the test for granted. I am still studying/reviewing for it and I am taking it seriously. The test changes all the time so I know I need to be prepared. But the anxiety is not there and that is important. So I am confident, hopeful, and can't wait to kick all kinds of butt!

Here I go

Tomorrow I'll be flying out to Washington DC for the Oral Assessment on Wednesday. Am I still a little freaked out? Yup. Am I excited? Most definitely. More importantly, I'm ready to go. A lot of time, energy, and effort has brought me to this point so I'm going to have to keep doing my best. See you on the other side.

Haiti

The earthquake that hit Haiti was devastating. So many dead, hurt, missing. My heart goes out to all those who are struggling through the destruction. It's hard to think of it without wishing I could do more to help. It makes me wish I was in the foreign service, on-site, there to help the Americans living abroad and all the locals. A close friend told me that watching coverage of Haiti makes him nervous of me joining the Foreign Service. Many Embassy staffers are hurt and many more are missing. It's scary to think that if I join that someday I may be one of those hurt or missing. And I can't go into the Foreign Service with my eyes closed to the possibility that I could be hurt or killed. But as scary as it is, it isn't scaring me away. I am more resolved than ever to keep going. If you can, please help the people of Haiti and donate to a reputable non-profit such as the Red Cross or Doctor without Borders.

Oral Assessment prep session

I'm here in Chicago, happy to watch the cold snowy weather from inside my warm hotel room. On Wednesday I arrived in Chicago and went straight to my Oral Assessment prep session. I'm really glad I went. It was great meeting others who are preparing and I really enjoyed meeting the Ambassador in residence. I do have to say, I feel both better informed and more intimidated. I feel confident I now know what I need to do to prepare effectively, which is a good thing too because my assessment is less than 3 weeks away! But at the same time, I feel a little intimidated. The Foreign Service has high standards, rightly so, and that means some additional pressure to do my best. Additionally, I think it's really hitting me that I might get in. And that thought is both exciting and scary. So needless to say, I have a lot on my mind. But at times like this, the best thing to do is to focus on what I need to do and on doing my best. See you next in DC!

Chicago

In a little less than two months I will be winging my way to Washington DC for the Oral Assessment. But before that, I will be road tripping it to Chicago for a prep session at the University of Illinois - Chicago. Ironically, I probably wouldn't have signed up for the prep session, despite how useful I think it will be, if I wasn't already planning a trip to Chicago in January. After all, I will spend more than 12 hours total in the car for 3 hours in a prep session. But hey, two birds, one stone. I'm super excited. I get to visit Chicago, do the tourist thing, and hang out with friends. Plus, I get to meet other Foreign Service hopefuls, be better prepared for the Oral Assessment, and learn from someone in the Foreign Service. I can't wait.

3 1/2 months

So I was bad and forgot to update the blog on my signing up for the Oral Assessment. Fall is always super busy for me and I got distracted. But enough about that. Registration for the Oral Assessment opened on Sept. 28th and I decided to wait until I got home from work to sign up. Little did I realize that I was the only one waiting. In 9 hours all the assessment slots for November, December, and even most of January were already taken. Sigh. I was hoping to get a slot in December. On the bright side, this will give me more time to prepare. I'm all signed up, booked my flight, and even found a hotel within walking distance of the test site. I'm even looking forward to meeting up with some friends in DC while I'm there. January 27th is the magic day so I better work hard so that I can do my best!

A selfish kind of love

This weekend I finally told my mom about being laid off. She has a lot of stress on her plate right now and I have been hesitant to contribute to it. I was talking to her about my plans and mentioned to her that I was planning on taking the FSOT this year, maybe in only a few months (yikes! so soon!) if my job hunt wasn't going well.

Now, I didn't expect her to be happy. My sister isn't even happy about it because she doesn't want me to be so far away. What I didn't expect was for my mom to tell me that, and I quote, she wants me to fail horribly. Sigh. She doesn't want me to possibly go to a country where my life would be put at risk. But really, fail horribly? I guess that's love, if only an incredibly selfish kind of love that has completely effed up priorities.

She also seems to hope I lose my house and have to live with her. Yeah, no. Do other people who join the foreign service face these kinds of issues from their family?

Some good news

My sister emailed me this link for The New York Times about how the Foreign Service is ramping up it's hiring. For a while now they had not be replacing open positions, but with the new president-elect and new funding from Congress they are looking to fill open slots as well as new positions.

This is encouraging news and makes me want to apply for a 2009 test date. Patience may be a virtue but when I'm interested in something I tend to focus on it and lose sight of the long game. However, maybe I should look into readjusting my strategy a little. Strike while the iron is hot and all that.