Disappointing News

So I learned the other day that I did not make it to the next step in the process; I was not asked to the Oral Assessment. I'm disappointed to say the least, especially as I made it that far last time. All I can think of is that my lack of focus came through in my Personal Narratives this time around. I clearly did not do as good of a job as I had on the first attempt. As I've mentioned before, my life is in something of an upheaval right now, both in good and bad ways, but stressful nonetheless. I'm not in the same place or frame of mind as I was when I started this blog and Foreign Service journey almost two years ago.

Which makes me wonder: Is this really the right time for me to be attempting something so life changing as the Foreign Service? As much as I want to do it, and I really do, maybe I need to get myself to a more stable place before I try again. Maybe I just need to mature and grow more as a professional, develop my skills, before I am ready. It's a lot to think about. I'm not eligible to take the test again until next summer, so I do have another 8 to 9 months to think about my next steps. A lot can happen in that short amount of time. I can't wait to see what will.

One hurdle down

So about 3 weeks ago I learned that I passed the FSOT for the second time!!! Yay! And then about a week ago I turned in my personal narratives for the second time. I mostly used the same examples from the last time, I just tweaked and adjusted them. And now it is back to waiting. Pursuing the Foreign Service is an exercise in patience followed by intense bursts of activity. Apply for the test, wait, sign up for the test date, wait, take the test, wait, and so on. But in a way, the complicated and extensive hiring process is a great way to self select out candidates. After all, if you can't handle the application process, there is no way you would be able to handle working in a government position. So for now I will continue on with my life, which is going through some major upheavals right now anyway, and see what happens. I won't know if I am moving on to the Oral Assessment again for about two more months. Cross your fingers for me.

Jumping back into the fray

Last Saturday I took the FSOT for the second time. I have to say, this time I went into the test much more confident and relaxed. Even though I know I need to wait another 3 weeks or so before I find out how I did, I do feel confident that I will pass again. It's weird getting back into the foreign service game. Last year I focused so much energy and worry over the process that when I failed to pass the Oral Assessment I felt very deflated. I didn't know if I would have the energy to try again. However, after going through everything last year, I find that I have a better perspective on the process and don't find myself fretting over things needlessly. I'm glad I'm trying again. When it all comes down to it, if this is truly something I want to do, and it is, I owe it to myself to keep going. So with that, the waiting game begins again.

One Month

Well, in one month I am ready to kick off the whole Foreign Service Process again. That's right, on June 5th I will be taking the FSOT for the second time. I am approaching the test this time a lot calmer. I know what to expect and I know that I was able to pass it once. This does not mean I am taking passing the test for granted. I am still studying/reviewing for it and I am taking it seriously. The test changes all the time so I know I need to be prepared. But the anxiety is not there and that is important. So I am confident, hopeful, and can't wait to kick all kinds of butt!

Here I go again

Well, a month ago I gave the Oral Assessment my best shot and failed. It was tough and I left DC a little heartbroken. I remember looking at my results and wondering if I could put myself through all that effort and stress again. But the Foreign Service Officers who gave me my results were encouraging that I should try again and my score wasn't that far off from the 5.25 I needed. I am confident that having gone through the process once, I am much better prepared if I make it that far the next time. So, here I am, picking myself up and today I submitted my application for the FSOT. Here we go again.

I wish I had better news

I failed. Yup, I did not pass the Oral Assessment. I passed the Structured Interview but not the Group discussion and not the Case Management section. They say you should know what you messed up on if you reflect upon it and I do. I know what I should have done. Doesn't make this any easier. I feel a little bad because I didn't stay to see if the other 5 in my group passed. I couldn't be happy for them at that moment, I needed to be sad. I hope they contact me and let me know.I hope they all did well. The accessors were very nice to me, very encouraging about my score. They asked me if I would do it again. I will. But tonight, I need a hug.

Here I go

Tomorrow I'll be flying out to Washington DC for the Oral Assessment on Wednesday. Am I still a little freaked out? Yup. Am I excited? Most definitely. More importantly, I'm ready to go. A lot of time, energy, and effort has brought me to this point so I'm going to have to keep doing my best. See you on the other side.

Haiti

The earthquake that hit Haiti was devastating. So many dead, hurt, missing. My heart goes out to all those who are struggling through the destruction. It's hard to think of it without wishing I could do more to help. It makes me wish I was in the foreign service, on-site, there to help the Americans living abroad and all the locals. A close friend told me that watching coverage of Haiti makes him nervous of me joining the Foreign Service. Many Embassy staffers are hurt and many more are missing. It's scary to think that if I join that someday I may be one of those hurt or missing. And I can't go into the Foreign Service with my eyes closed to the possibility that I could be hurt or killed. But as scary as it is, it isn't scaring me away. I am more resolved than ever to keep going. If you can, please help the people of Haiti and donate to a reputable non-profit such as the Red Cross or Doctor without Borders.

Oral Assessment prep session

I'm here in Chicago, happy to watch the cold snowy weather from inside my warm hotel room. On Wednesday I arrived in Chicago and went straight to my Oral Assessment prep session. I'm really glad I went. It was great meeting others who are preparing and I really enjoyed meeting the Ambassador in residence. I do have to say, I feel both better informed and more intimidated. I feel confident I now know what I need to do to prepare effectively, which is a good thing too because my assessment is less than 3 weeks away! But at the same time, I feel a little intimidated. The Foreign Service has high standards, rightly so, and that means some additional pressure to do my best. Additionally, I think it's really hitting me that I might get in. And that thought is both exciting and scary. So needless to say, I have a lot on my mind. But at times like this, the best thing to do is to focus on what I need to do and on doing my best. See you next in DC!